Reasons why “everyone” should go to the dance:

*sometimes fights break out (and its fun to watch)

*you get to see a lot of people in a different atmosphere (ok so u ARE still at SKOOL, but its dark and there is music blasting)

*it’s a PAARTY! Lol

*you don’t even have to dance, just socialize a bit

*its Friday

*it’s a holiday, meaning it only comes once a year

*this is our last year!! And I don’t go 2 that many school dances so im totally there!

I am a little nervous but who cares

~omg guess wut yall...

im getting contacts!! finally, yay!!! lol. my mom picked me up from school and i didnt even kno she was gonna but the only appointment that was like, anytime soon was 2day at 3. (good thing she didnt see me huggin david or anything or else it woulda been weird lol) so i went and it was basically like an eye check up. but they had to put drops in my eyes TWICE!! ugh i h8 it but im fine now... my eyes should go normal by the time i wake up, lol. okay, so on tuesday is this little "class" where im gonna learn how 2 put them in, take them out, etc, and if im ready ill get to take them home that day!  im like so happy, lol. i remember that time swati was like "u should tell ur mom u wanna be a model and she'll let u get highlights, ur hair straightened, contacts, new clothes, etc" lol well some of that is comin tru!~ hehe. well i am almost done with my science fair binder, the only things i havent done are the research paper, conclusion, and making the board which ill do on sat. wit christina. well im hungry so im gonna go eat dinner and then chill i guess  byez*****

Yay, I just painted my nails and they r so prettiful! Lol. They r a VERY VIBRANT/brite pink with gold and silver hearts on 3 out of 5 fingers on each hand. They look professionally done if I do say so myself… hehe =) and I have decided on an outfit to wear on valentines day already. Ok, im not that pressed, really. I just got bored and really wanna wear sumthin cute n a little stylish… nuthin wrong wit that! So anyway 4 my good grades, dad let me go shopping this weekend. First we hit the mall and I looked at sears and jcpenny. i just got one shirt. Its like red and the sleeves are pink and I have this red/magenta cami that would go perfect underneath. Well anyway then we went to target and kohl’s, and I got… a purple, black and white, and red and black shirts which were all the kind that…. Well, here’s a pic to describe it

like that. the kind w/ 2 layer.  and a pink happy bunny shirt that says “cute but physco.” Omg its so me!! Lol. I wish it just said “cute but crazy” but its totally fine hehe. O yea and I got 1 new pair of jeans. So, im happy now. So 4 V-day im gonna wear the red and pink sleeved one and possibly if its warm enough, my beige “flair” skort. So anyway, enough about that. the super bowl is on. WHYYYY do they call it a SUPER. BOWL.?? I mean how did they come up with that name. its very strange if u think about it. So anyway mom is watching it and whenever there is a good song/halftime/funny commercial I go and watch it. Im not that in2 football but if I had to choose id want the Philly eagles 2 win.

Sigh I had so much homework 2day….  And im still not done so I better go finish it soon. Oh yeah, the mad lib.

On Friday on the bus fruit2o had this mad lib book and was asking me for words to fill one in and I decided to do it all thinkin just bout...boys. So I did. And….. here r the results. Brace yourself. It’s a little perverted. But we LMAO-ed.

Verb: kiss

Plural noun: bottles of perfume and cologne

Adj: sexy

Place: bedroom

Adj: hott

Animal: cat

Adj: tall

Verb ending in “ing”: fucking

Part of body: chest

Exclamation: bring it on!

Silly noise (we cracked up SO BAD): oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Article of clothing: boxers

Adverb: slowwwwly

Adverb: passssionately

Verb: touch

Verb: suck (that was ALL fruit2o)

Verb (past tense): fucked

And now here is the whole madlib.

HOW TO DEAL W/ A TARANTULA

Contrary to popular belief, a kiss from a tarantula is not fatal. But their bottles of perfume and cologne are very sexy, so it’s best to try to avoid these hairy spiders altogether. Tarantulas live in parts of the US and also in bedrooms, and tend to prefer hott climates. Since they’re usually found in deserts or forests, you might encounter one if you’re riding a cut through a tall desert or fucking through the woods (lmao!!!!). If you look down at your chest and spot one, don’t yell BRING IT ON! Or make an oohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (groan). Use a stick or a pair of boxers to get it off of your chest. If that doesn’t work, slowly stand up and paassssionately jump up and down. The tarantula will then either touch off you, or suck away. If you realize you’ve been fucked, stay calm. Remember, their bites aren’t deadly!

ps. here are 2 pictures i made for valentines day, its fun!! leave a comment and tell me what u think of them.

  (sry if it doesnt show up!!)

I AM sad... im crying! my dad just called and i wanted 2 tell him but... well maybe i just wont tell my family until they ask something about it.

     *            *  

well its official. me n k are over, broken-up. im okay with it... i mean i have mixed feelings. what girl doesnt? the really weird thing was that on the phone when he asked "we're still friends, right?" and i answered yes then hung up, i wasnt sure if i should laugh (sarcastically) or cry. i hope i can get thru valentines day!! i mean, being around people who r going out...

well, goodnight.

ps. i wonder how 2morrow at school will go!

So fucking tired of these bitches
Its not all their fault that I can't breathe
But they're all I've got to blame
Every day I come home
Possibly waiting for everything to go back to normal
But no
It never does.

i come home
and they come home after me
saying "put away your shoes and jacket and backpack"
they say "eat dinner and do your homework and dont forget to take a shower"
sometimes i just dont feel the love

Sometimes I wish I was like the normal families
With a mom, and a dad,
together.
they dont have to go to their dad's house every weekend
their mom doesn't work multiple jobs
their brother, the only one with sanity, isnt gone half the time
and their sister doesnt have bitch fits with each other
no, no one's family is perfect
but i know for sure its a little better
than this hell i live in

somedays i wish i was living by myself
id rather be alone in new york making myself a living
than here crying in my room all of my life

i have no idea what the fuck i am writing
i have no way of letting my anger out
all i have is this talent for writing
which i am completely twisting

did God really send me here to be a poet and write about life?
i cant go against what He wants me to do
but i cant lie to myself either

i need to get away

ps. when i wrote "its not their fault that i cant breathe" i meant that in the metiforical (or whatever) way: like they wont let me live

________________________________________________________

Author's Comments: i really hate saying how my life and where i live and my family are horrible, cuz i know there r homeless people out there that r more poor, but i just cant fucking help it!  i hate doing this. but like i said. i really dont have any other humane way of letting my anger out!!!! cutting doesnt work. God bless. ill be better in the morning.

oh yeah, just want to say thanks to all my friends, the Sistas and everybody else. they always make me laugh and just always hang around with me even though im a devil sometimes... they know when 2 ask if im okay and when not to.

this is my last chance to just delete this whole thing.........1